Whatever Happened to ... Kelly LeBrock?

I know that a quick check of IMDb or Google can answer the letter of that question, but what about the spirit of that question?

After hitting the scene in the two films below, LeBrock co-starred with then-husband Steven Seagal in 1990’s Hard to Kill.  After that?  Nothing of consequence.  While it isn’t exactly a three-film career arc on James Dean’s level (and LeBrock IS still alive), it does prove that despite a perfect body, a beautiful face, flowing locks, puffy lips, and a mysterious accent, mediocre talent won’t help you last long.

The Woman in Red

1984

Starring Gene Wilder, Judith Ivey, Kelly LeBrock, and Gilda Radner

Directed by Gene Wilder

LeBrock makes her cinematic debut as Charlotte, the object of Teddy’s (Wilder) desires.  In a parking garage, Teddy sees Charlotte dancing over an air vent.  The homage to Marilyn Monroe’s similar scene in The Seven Year Itch (1955) replaces the white dress with a red one, and unlike Monroe, LeBrock readily exposes her undies (matching red satin, of course).  Despite his wife and children, Teddy is determined to bed Charlotte.

Original music by Stevie Wonder includes the Oscar-winning (Best Music, Song) “I Just Called to Say I Love You.”  The other Oscar nominees that year are 80s music staples: “Against All Odds” (from Against All Odds, performed by Phil Collins); “Footloose” (from Footloose, performed by Kenny Loggins); “Ghost Busters” (from Ghost Busters, performed by Ray Parker Jr.); and “Let’s Hear It For the Boy” (from Footloose, performed by Deniece Williams).

Weird Science

1985

Starring Anthony Michael Hall, Kelly Le Brock, Iian Mitchell-Smith, and Bill Paxton

Directed by John Hughes

LeBrock’s sophomore effort caters to the fantasies of teenage (and not so teenage) boys everywhere.  Garry (Hall) and Wyatt (Mitchell-Smith) are high school losers.  With his parents out of town, Wyatt invites Gary to spend the weekend, and they kick it off by donning bras on their heads and “creating” a digital woman on Garry’s computer.  Freakiness ensues and Lisa (LeBrock) materializes as a real – albeit magical – woman.  Using her powers, she treats the boys to cars, parties, and popularity, in addition to treating them to the vision of herself in numerous sexy outfits, all under the pretense of trying to boost their confidence.  Paxton is fun as Wyatt’s jerky brother. 

The soundtrack is comprised of a roster of C-List 80s acts, including Kim Wilde, Wall of Voodoo, OMD, Ratt, and General Public, with Oingo Boingo (fronted by current and frequent Tim Burton film composer Danny Elfman) taking on the title track.

After MAX, But Before the Madness: The LETHAL Mel Gibson

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that the guy who won Oscars for Braveheart, and the guy who created controversy (and set records) for The Passion of the Christ, and the guy who provided the TMZs of the world with an infinite loop of profanity-laden hate speech, was once a stone-cold-mortal-lock to open a picture; a Hollywood movie star in the greatest sense.

After a fine balance of action movies (the Mad Max trilogy) and dramatic films (Gallipoli, The Year of Living Dangerously), Mel Gibson became the centerpiece of the entertaining and successful Lethal Weapon franchise.  As is usually the case with franchises, the original film is the best, with quality diminishing throughout the sequels.  Below are the ‘80s entries in the series, and certainly the better half of the four films.

Lethal Weapon

1987

Starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitchell Ryan, Tom Atkins, and Darlene Love

Directed by Richard Donner

Roger Murtaugh (Glover) is a police sergeant and family man who is days away from retirement.  Martin Riggs (Gibson), Roger’s new partner, is a widower who just might be suicidal.  Together they must solve the murder of the daughter of one of Roger’s old friends (Atkins), and the case leads them to a group of Vietnam vets involved in a major drug deal, led by Peter McAllister (Ryan) and his icy triggerman, Mr. Joshua (Busey).  Great chemistry between Gibson and Glover will please all, with major action for the guys and a buff Mel for the gals.  Guitar legend Eric Clapton added to the film’s score.

Lethal Weapon 2

1989

Starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O’Connor, Patsy Kensit, and Darlene Love

Directed by Richard Donner

Riggs and Murtaugh (Gibson and Glover) return to stop a South African diplomat’s drug smuggling trade.  The chemistry and humor still work, with help – and comic relief – from a witness the boys must protect, Leo Getz (Pesci).  More is revealed about Riggs’ past, and male viewers get their own eye candy in Riggs’ new girlfriend, Rika Van Den Haas (Kensit), a good girl working for the bad guys.  Clapton again contributes to the score, along with David Sanborn and George Harrison.

(Oh, and Mel just had GREAT hair in both of these movies.)

Don't You Forget About ... The Brat Pack

It’s impossible to think of 1980s cinema without thinking of “The Brat Pack,” that group of young actors and actresses that appeared in numerous films with such a variety of co-starring combinations you would think they were human Garanimals.  What made Brat Pack films so appealing was the law of large numbers: even though you might not have liked all of the members, chances were good that you liked enough of them so that at least one appeared in every film.  A Brat Pack film had to star at least two Brat Packers, and the generally accepted “official” Brat Pack roster consisted of the following eight stars:

Emilio Estevez

Anthony Michael Hall

Rob Lowe

Andrew McCarthy

Demi Moore

Judd Nelson

Molly Ringwald

Ally Sheedy

Below are the dozen pictures that left a mark (whether you like it or not) on the history of the movies.

Class (1983): Skip (Lowe) is a cool guy because he wants to help his new prep school roommate Jonathan (McCarthy) lose his virginity (a very 80s theme).  When he sends Jonathan to Chicago for said loss, the sexual neophyte scores with older woman Ellen (Jacqueline Bisset).  Things get messy when Jonathan learns that Ellen happens to be Skip’s Mom.  Oops.  Directed by Lewis John Carlino

The Outsiders (1983): Based on titular S.E. Hinton novel and set in the 1960s, this film features the best-looking gang of greasers ever on film yet who, despite their handsomeness, are simply looking for acceptance.  It’s a who’s-who of future Hollywood talent in this one, featuring C. Thomas Howell, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, and Diane Lane.  It also stars Brats Estevez and Lowe.  Directed by Francis Ford Coppola.

Oxford Blues (1984): Lowe plays a Las Vegas resident and accomplished rower (because so many accomplished rowers hail from the desert) who falls in love with a British girl (Amanda Pays) and follows her to England, where circumstances force him to enroll at Oxford University.  Brat Sheedy joins Lowe.  Directed by Robert Boris.

Sixteen Candles (1984): This is possibly the best of the Brat Pack bunch, and it marks the first directorial effort by legendary ‘80s teen-movie Patron Saint John Hughes.  A high school girl (Ringwald) has the worst sixteenth birthday ever – nobody remembers it.  Plus, she has a crush on a guy (Michael Schoeffling) she doesn’t stand a chance with, and a school nerd (Hall) has the hots for her.

The Breakfast Club (1985): Five out of eight Brat Packers star in what is probably the quintessential Brat Pack film: many Brats, a memorable anthem [“Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds], and an endless supply of repeatable quotes.  In short, five high school kids from five different cliques wind up in detention for an entire Saturday and learn more about themselves and each other than any class could teach them.  Brats Estevez, Hall, Nelson, Ringwald, and Sheedy star.  Directed by John Hughes.

St. Elmo’s Fire (1985): If five out of eight is so good, why not six?  It’s a veritable Brat convention about a group of friends who just graduated college and have no clue about what to do with their relationships, drug problems, or careers.  It’s as if The Breakfast Club grew up and realized that maybe they should have reflected a little harder during that Saturday detention.  Brats Estevez, Lowe, McCarthy, Moore, Nelson, and Sheedy star.  Directed by Joel Schumacher.

Weird Science (1985): *This film – about two high school boys who gain popularity (and the woes that come with it) when they invent Kelly LeBrock – gets an exemption from me.  It only features one Brat (Hall), but the Oingo Boingo title theme is great, and it was directed by John Hughes.  And did I mention they invented Kelly LeBrock?

About Last Night… (1986): Brats Lowe and Moore star in this love story about two people who go through the many nuances of a new relationship.  While dealing with all of that, their respective best friends become jealous and possessive.  Meh.  Directed by Edward Zwick.

Blue City (1986): A young man (Nelson) learns that his father has been murdered, and he returns to his small hometown to solve the crime and avenge his father’s death.  He gets help doing all of this help from fellow Brat Sheedy.  Look for David Caruso, perhaps foreshadowing being pale and in Florida.  Directed by Michelle Manning.

Pretty in Pink (1986): A high school girl (Ringwald) from the poor side of the tracks, with what can only be described as an unhealthy obsession with the color pink, is in love with a high school boy (McCarthy) from the rich side of the tracks.  In fact, it’s possible his parents own the tracks.  Boy and girl defy social odds.  Also in this are Annie Potts, Jon Cryer, and James Spader (in a prototypical James Spader role).  Look for cameo appearances by Dice Clay, Gina Gershon, and Dweezil Zappa.  Directed by Howard Deutch.

Wisdom (1986): Estevez not only stars here, he wrote and directed as well.  He plays a college graduate who can’t get a job because of a past felony conviction, so he abandons the honest life and with his moll, Moore, then makes like Robin Hood by terrorizing banks across the country in the name of struggling farmers everywhere.  What, he never heard of Farm Aid?

Fresh Horses (1988): A girl from the poor side of the tracks falls in love with a guy from the rich side of the tracks.  In fact, it’s possible his parents own the tracks.  Waitaminute!  I already typed this once!  Oh, it’s basically the same storyline as Pretty in Pink, only this time it features … waitaminute!  Again with Brats Ringwald and McCarthy?!  Ah, here’s a change: supporting actors include Ben Stiller and Viggo Mortensen.  Directed by David Anspagh.

Thus endeth the Brat Pack.

 

Comb Your Hair in a Pompadour, Like the Rest of the Romeos Wore: A Double-Shot of Patrick Swayze

Red Dawn

1984

Starring Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson, Charlie Sheen, and Jennifer Grey

Directed by John Milius

Jed Eckert (Swayze) is the stud football player for a small Midwestern high school.  He’s good looking, athletic, and popular, but his prom plans are ruined when Soviet and Nicaraguan troops invade America.  Jed leads a ragtag (and good-looking, but not AS good-looking as him) group of teens into the woods, where they live as freedom fighters known as the Wolverines – after their high school football team, not the footwear or the comic book character.  This film captured a unique 80s combination of Cold War fears and popular (albeit non-Brat Pack) teen stars.

Road House

1989

Starring Patrick Swayze, Ben Gazzara, Kelly Lynch, and Sam Elliott

Directed by Rowdy Herrington

After one-too-many outbursts of redneck violence, a bar owner hires Dalton (Swayze) to act as his “Cooler.”  The “Cooler” is the head bouncer.  Really.  Dalton, a student of über-Cooler and bouncing legend … no, no, really … Wade Garrett (Elliott), brings a unique combination of Eastern philosophy, glistening pecs, Thai Chi, and hair gel.  This unique combination gets him noticed by sexy doctor Elizabeth Clay (Lynch), as well as bad guy Brad Wesley (Gazzara), a rival bar owner and the big mean fish in the nice small town pond.  Rich with quotes, this is a guilty pleasure of many (and by many, I mean me).